Tonight, Tonight
by ThereIsOnlyZuul
Summary: Harley Quinn has left Joker once again and she's sure to go back to him, but before she does, Ivy is going to show her the best night of her life.
1. The Pick Up

This is chapter one of a fanfiction I wrote after I stopped and really thought about why Harley Quinn never stays with Ivy even though I personally think she's happier with Ivy. More chapters to follow. The M rating is for the chapters to follow.

* * *

"Red… will you come and get me?"

It was a question Poison Ivy had heard a thousand times before. She didn't need to ask who it was: she knew it was Harley Quinn. She didn't need to ask what had happened: she knew it was Joker's fault. She didn't even need to ask where she needed to go to get Harley.

"I've been spending more time in Crime Alley than I ever wanted too," Ivy sighed as she popped open her compact mirror and checked her reflection. Her red hair was hidden under a silk scarf and her green eyes were behind huge, plastic-framed, Louis Vuitton sunglasses. With a tall pair or glossy black heels and a long mink coat, she was unrecognizable as the villainess that Gotham feared and hated so much.

"Did'u say something lady?" The cabby asked as he glanced in the rear view mirror. Ivy shook her head. The cabby glanced from the rear-view mirror to the road and then back to the mirror. "You know, I've never taken a lady as well off as you into Crime Alley. At least, not this late at night."

"Is that so?" Ivy muttered as she glanced out the grimy window of the cab.

"You hungover? Why you wearing those glasses?"

Ivy ignored the question. "Stop here." The cab driver did as told and stopped the car.

The cabby looked around the questionable neighbourhood. "Listen lady, are you gonna be okay? This is a pretty rough 'hood."

"I can take care of myself. Wait here for me. I won't be long." The driver nodded and Ivy climbed out. She looked around herself before strutting off down a darkened alley. "Time to collect my dear, dear Harley."

* * *

Harley was slumped against the alley wall far from the road. She had her knees squeezed tight against her chest, her arms wrapped around her legs. Her face was buried into her knees but as she heard Ivy's heels clicking down the dirty alley ground she perked her head up.

A slight smile spread across her bloody mouth as she pulled her harlequin headdress off. "Red. You came."

"You should know by now that I always come." Ivy crouched beside Harley. She removed her large framed sunglasses and threw them aside before pulling the silk scarf from her head to dab at Harley's split lip.

"Is that the coat I gave you last Christmas? The mink one you said you hated?"

"It is. And thank you for it. I didn't thank you when you gave it too me. I truly did hate it then but it's grown on me, so thank you."

Harley smiled again. "You look good."

"Wish I could say the same for you."

"It's been a rough night."

Ivy sighed as she stood back up. She wanted to yell at Harley for being stupid. So stupid as to stay with Joker year in and year out as he berated her, beat her, and otherwise made her life a living hell. But she had yelled at Harley so many times before and nothing came of it. Nothing ever came of it…

Tonight... tonight maybe she'd try something different.

Ivy extended her hand to Harley with a smile. "C'mon. If you can still walk I've got something planned."

Harley opened her mouth to question Ivy but decided against it. She returned Ivy's smile and took her hand. Ivy pulled her up and took her around waist. Together, they walked slowly out of the alley: Harley limping in her bloodied harlequin costume, Ivy strutting in her glossy silhouettes and fur coat.


	2. The Surprise

Chapter two is ready for your enjoyment, so, you know, enjoy!

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Ivy opened the back door of the cab and helped Harley in. The cabby looked nervously into his rear-view mirror. This situation had gone from weird to creepy. Why did the woman in the fur coat pick up a beat-up blonde from Crime Alley? Not to mention that the bloodied blonde looked familiar. Real familiar.

"Do I know you?" The driver asked.

The question was ignored. The driver decided quickly that the blonde must just be a hooker he drove by every night. He also decided that the woman in the fur coat must be her concerned sister or friend. Although she looked familiar too with that vivid red hair she had uncovered. A beat up blonde and a red-headed vixen could mean only one team in Gotham…

He glanced nervously in the rear-view mirror. Both women had their eyes cast down, their faces half hidden in shadows.

"So uh… where to, ladies?"

The question was ignored.

"Red, I'm so cold."

"You've lost a lot of blood," the red-head said as she quickly pulled off her fur coat and wrapped it around the other woman like a blanket. The cab driver's jaw dropped. Now that the mink coat had been slipped from the red-head's body and the cabby could see the small, delicate vines that clung to her arms as if they were part of her own skin, he knew who was in his back seat. And he knew he was fucked.

"Oh shit…"

He snapped his head around quickly and Ivy looked up to meet his gaze. She smiled, a hard, cold glint in her striking green eyes. "Didn't your mother ever tell you it's rude to stare?" The cabby opened his mouth to yell out but before a sound escaped Harley had bolted up-right and stuck a gun between his teeth. She may have been injured and woozy from blood lose, but the girl had sharp reflexes. "Now, we can do this my way or Harley's way: it's your choice. My way will lead you to live another day. Harley's way will lead you to being a big, sticky mess all over your windshield. Which would you like?"

"Your way!" He said as he nodded towards Ivy. "Your way! Your way!"

"Good. Harley dear, you lie back down, I'll get us to where we need to go."

Harley withdrew her gun from between the cabby's chattering teeth and laid back against the seat. Ivy smiled at Harley before turning back to the cabby. She puckered her luscious lips and blew him a kiss. He was no match for her hypnotic pheromones.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes Mistress. I'm ready to go anywhere for you."

"Excellent. Across the Robert Kane Memorial Bridge and then head west. And be quick; I don't have all night."

* * *

Harley fell asleep quickly in the backseat of the cab snuggled under Ivy's big fur coat. Ivy was fine with that. It was always easier to dress her wounds when she wasn't thrashing around or pouting because it stung. All things considered though, Harley wasn't too bad off for wounds this time: Joker went easier on her.

"We're here, Mistress."

"Good. Now drive away, back across the bridge. Wait until half an hour before sunrise and then come back to this exact spot. This exact spot. Then you will drive us home and you will go free. Understood?"

"Yes Mistress."

Ivy blew another kiss to the driver – effectively doubling his trance – before turning her attention to the sleeping Harley Quinn.

"Harley. Harley, wake up." Harley's eyes fluttered open. Ivy had wiped away her white face paint while she slept and could see that a dark bruise was quickly forming around her right eye. "How did you sleep?"

Harley yawned and stretched. "I felt like I slept a thousand years but I'm still so tired."

"Do you have enough energy to come have fun with me?"

Harley smiled. "I always want to have fun with you, Red."

Ivy opened her door and climbed out. She extended her hand to Harley and she took it. Harley stood on wobbly legs but other than that she seemed perfectly fine. Ivy kicked off her glossy black heels into the backseat; she wouldn't need them where they were headed. She shut the door and the driver puttered off down the road.

"Red, where's he going? How do we get back? Where are we, anyways?" Ivy took hold of Harley's shoulders and turned her to look at their destination. Silhouetted on the hilltops a half a mile away from the deserted road Ivy and Harley were on, stood the Stately Wayne Manor. "Wayne Manor!" Harley exclaimed. "What the fuck are we doing here?"

"We're here to have fun."


	3. The Good Times

Chapter three up and ready for you! Things start getting sexy and a little bit funny and cute. So review it already ;)

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"Red, I'm not sure about this. What if someone sees us?" Harley looked around herself for the thousandth time as her and Ivy walked across the darkened grounds of the Stately Wayne Manor. They crossed the gravel driveway, their feet crunching on the loose rocks, and headed around to the back of the huge mansion.

"Yeah, what if someone does see us? So what?"

"I'm Harley-fucking-Quinn and you're Poison-fucking-Ivy! We're wanted criminals!" Harley whispered dramatically as she flailed her arms about.

"Call us wanted _villainesses_, Harley. Criminals just sounds so vulgar."

"Fine, fuck, whatever. We're wanted villainesses. So what are we doing at Wayne Manor? If Bruce Wayne happens to glance out a window – and he's only got a thousand to choose from! – we're one phone call away from our padded cells at Arkham!"

"And doesn't that thrill of getting caught get your rocks off? It used to back when we first started fooling around. Do you remember? Oh, it was exciting. Breaking out of our cells to meet in the half-flooded tunnels below Arkham."

Harley bit her lip. "Of course I remember. And anyone within earshot remembers too... That thing you did with your tongue… Although I remember I was more terrified than thrilled for the longest time. You led us right into Killer Croc's lair."

Ivy threw back her head and laughed. "No matter how many times I told you I could handle Croc if he decided to show up, you just didn't believe me. You were shaking in your Arkham issued canvas sneakers and it was so cute!"

"I had only known you in captivity, Red!" Harley said to justify herself. "I hadn't seen you near any plants!"

"You don't have those doubts anymore, do you?" Ivy asked as they walked by a wall covered with sleeping Morning Glories. Ivy had to do nothing more than look at them for them to 'wake up'; their petals unfurled and they turned their faces towards Ivy as if it were morning and she were the sun.

"Red, you've removed all doubts from my mind."

"Even bringing you to Wayne Manor?" Ivy smirked.

"I can't say it's your brightest plan, but I definitely understand your motivation. The risk of getting caught always heightens the fun."

"And what fun we'll have…"

* * *

"I don't think I'm ever going to tire of you between my legs, Harley." Ivy purred as she rolled around in the damp grass. Harley smiled from where she lay in the grass. She was still naked, save for her leather gloves and Ivy's fur coat.

"I do what I can, Red," she purred back. "And I'm seriously glad you talked me into this. I have to say that rolling around naked on a billionaire's lawn in the middle of the night is the best way to have an orgasm. I'm nearly glad Joker kicked me out."

"Oh yes, I'd forgotten that the clown is still included in this strange little romance we have. How long has he kicked you out for this time?"

"He didn't say. I'll go back to him in the morning and see if he'll forgive me."

"Or you could come home to my greenhouse with me. I know for a fact that the daisies are missing your bubbly conversation."

Harley giggled. It wasn't the yes Ivy was hoping for but usually, when Ivy mentioned leaving Joker, Harley got immediately up in arms. So a giggle wasn't inherently a bad thing. "I always feel so strange talking to your flowers!"

"It's good for them. Helps them grow. And it makes me happy."

"Well, I am always eager to make you happy, Red," Harley said as she stood. The fur coat hung seductively from her small shoulders, her nipple were perky and stiff from the chill in the late-night air.

"And you're so very, very good at it, Harley."

"Do you think we have time for some more fun?"

"It's not even three in the morning. Plenty of time until the sun rises. Although, I may just be saying that to get you to fuck me…" Ivy teased as she bit her lip and fluttered her eyes lashes.

"Fuck it," Harley said with a kneeled in front of Ivy and spread her legs. "Let the sun come up; we'll give Bruce Wayne an unbelievable show if it does!"

* * *

"It's past your bedtime isn't it, Alfred?" Bruce Wayne asked with a smile as he came up behind his most trusted and beloved friend. Alfred did not reply, turn around, or even acknowledge what Bruce had said, he was diligently staring out of the window. "Alfred? What's wrong?"

"Prepare your batsuit, Master Bruce. We have a situation."

"A situation? In the backyard?"

"I was in the kitchen, preparing myself a midnight snack, when I heard giggling from outside."

"Giggling?"

"Yes. Upon further investigation, I discovered the giggling was from two girls running about the grounds!"

"Girls, Alfred? You want me to break out the suit for giggling girls?"

Alfred moved aside, sweeping his arm towards the window. "Take a look for yourself, Master Bruce."

Bruce looked out the window to see there were two girls running about the grounds. They were chasing each other around and laughing. It was too dark to see any details of their faces or bodies.

"Will you handle this yourself?"

"No, Alfred."

"I shall call the authorities forth right then, Master Bruce."

"Don't bother."

"Don't bother? Are you saying we shouldn't call the police even though the grounds are being trespassed upon? What if they're looking for the Bat Cave? What if they've discovered your secret and are hear to kill you?"

"They're just girls, Alfred; it's not like we have a couple of villainesses on the lawn."

"At the very least the grounds could be damaged – look! – one of them is swinging from the topiary! The topiaries take me forever – Heavens! Now they're kissing!"

Bruce laughed as he patted Alfred on the shoulder. "So what if they're on the grounds, Alfred? They're in love and they're having fun. Now go to bed; they're not going to cause any trouble. Let them tire themselves out and if they fall asleep on the lawn you can chase them off with your broom in the morning, alright?"

"Very funny, Master Bruce. You seem in a rather jovial mood. Any other night and you'd be out there with batarangs and tear gas."

"I don't thing there'll be any need for that. Just forgot about them and go to bed."

"Fine, I'll go to bed: let the girls have fun, as you've so aptly put it. But if I go down there tomorrow morning and find any damage to my prize winning rose bushes, hell will be raised! I'll dawn the cape and cowl myself to track them down!"

"I don't doubt it. Now sleep tight, old man."


	4. The Happy End

Chapter 4 and we're getting close to the end now! Exciting or sad? You decide!

* * *

"Do we have to go so soon?" Harley asked as her and Ivy walked hand in hand down the long and winding driveway of Wayne Manor towards the waiting taxi cab. The sun was just about to break on the horizon: they had already stayed longer than Ivy had planned too.

"Can't overstay our welcome," Ivy said with a smile. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself though."

"I had such a good time! Rolling in the grass while we giggled and talked and… did other things. It's the happiest I've been in a while, Red – seriously... I mean, before I met you, I never would have thought gardens could be so much fun."

Ivy didn't reply. Nothing she could say could make this moment any better so she stayed quiet. In way of reply, she squeezed Harley's hand tightly in her own.

The hypnotized cab driver stood outside his car, holding the back door open for the two women. He nodded to Ivy as she approached: his eyes were glazed and unfocused but he could sense his mistress at a molecular level.

"Where to?" He asked after Harley had jumped into the back and just as Ivy was about to climb in herself.

"So is he gonna drive us anywhere we want?"

"He will. Should I tell him to head to the warehouse on the pier that you call home?"

"You mean you're not gonna invite me to your greenhouse?" Harley asked as she stretched her agile legs across the back seat.

"You don't want to go home to Joker?" Ivy asked, a bit surprised that that hadn't been Harley's first request.

"Nah. He'll be there when I'm ready to go back. I personally feel like spending a few more hours with you, Red. You're full of such wonderful surprises. I know what Joker's full of and I'm not interested in that. You bring out the beauty in life that I don't get to see when I'm with Mistah J and right now, I want to see more beautiful stuff!"

"Oh… Harley…" Ivy melted on the inside. Her heart fluttered. Her eyes blurred with tears. "That's the sweetest thing you've ever said…"

Harley smiled. "Ah Red, don't you start crying or I'll start crying! Just get us outta here and to your greenhouse, would ya? I've got some daisies to say hello too!"

Ivy caught the cab driver's gaze in the rear view mirror. Without having to say a word the cabby put the car in drive and floored it. Going to Wayne Manor to frolic on the immense grounds had been a startling success: Harley was hers! Probably for no more than one or two more nights, but any time with Harley was time Ivy treasured. And as far as she was concerned, they couldn't get to her greenhouse fast enough.


	5. The Epilogue

And so we come to the end! I hope you enjoyed everything you read! Cheers!**  
**

* * *

"No breakfast service this morning?" Bruce asked with a yawn as he walked into the kitchen. There was a fresh pot of coffee and a clean mug on the counter so Bruce helped himself.

Alfred stood by the backdoor, gardening gloves already on his hands. "I'm afraid not Master Bruce. I must get out there as quickly as possible and fix the damage those two girls created last night!"

"Well, by all means, go. Fix." Bruce said as he raised his mug in a mock salute.

Alfred threw open the door and rushed into the garden. The tails on his butler's uniform flapped behind him as he rushed. Bruce followed after him, trying incredibly hard not to laugh.

Alfred's first and for-most concern were his prize winning roses. He stopped in front of them and intently looked them up and down. "So old man, what's the damage?" Bruce called from a few feet back. Alfred didn't reply. "Alfred?"

"I don't believe it."

"What? Nothing bad, I hope."

"Bad? No, no, far from it. My roses… they appear to be in better condition now than they were yesterday. Redder, fuller, more vibrant. They look wonderful!" Alfred exclaimed as he turned back to Bruce.

Bruce laughed as he sipped his coffee. "They're better now then they were yesterday, huh? Hell, maybe we should let more lesbians into the backyard: they apparently do wonders for the vegetation."

**The End**


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